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Divorce is often an emotionally charged process, and when adultery is involved, it can deepen the pain and intensify the conflict.
Infidelity frequently carries real—and sometimes very public—consequences. A recent example involves Andy Byron, CEO of Astronomer, a data analytics company, and Kristin Cabot, the company’s Human Resources Director. The two were caught embracing on the Jumbotron at a Coldplay concert in Foxborough, Massachusetts. Once they realized they were on the “Kiss Cam,” they appeared to hide their faces.
Coldplay’s frontman Chris Martin joked, “Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy,” and the clip quickly went viral.
See the video on the New York Post here.
While millions around the world shared the video, created memes, and commented on social media, two families reportedly faced the fallout. Infidelity often leads to divorce, causing feelings of anger and betrayal that ripple through families. In New Jersey, adultery can impact certain aspects of divorce proceedings depending on the specific circumstances surrounding the affair.
Can I File for Divorce Based on Adultery in New Jersey?
Yes. Adultery is one of the recognized legal grounds for a fault-based divorce in New Jersey. To file on this basis, you must provide evidence that your spouse engaged in an extramarital affair. This typically requires proof of both opportunity and inclination, such as hotel receipts, text messages, or eyewitness testimony.
While filing for divorce on grounds of adultery can make the process more contentious and lengthier, it may be appropriate in some cases—especially if the affair affects financial matters or child custody. However, adultery alone does not guarantee a more favorable settlement.
Will Infidelity Affect Child Custody?
Usually, no. New Jersey courts prioritize the best interests of the child, not the moral conduct of either parent. A spouse’s infidelity will not automatically disqualify them from custody or parenting time.
Exceptions exist if the affair created an unsafe, unstable, or emotionally harmful environment for the child, such as:
- Exposing the child to inappropriate situations involving the affair partner.
- Leaving the child unsupervised due to the affair.
- Neglect or heightened conflict in the home linked to the affair.
- If the new partner has a history of abuse, addiction, or other concerning behavior.
In these cases, a judge may adjust custody or visitation arrangements, including supervised visits or restrictions on overnight stays when the new partner is present.
Does Infidelity Affect Property Division During Divorce?
New Jersey follows an equitable distribution approach, where marital property is divided fairly, although not necessarily equally, based on various factors. Infidelity itself is generally not a factor in determining property division.
However, if your spouse spent significant marital funds supporting the affair—on gifts, trips, or lodging—you may be able to recover your share of those expenditures during the division of assets.
Can Cheating Influence Alimony in New Jersey?
Alimony decisions depend on factors like the length of the marriage, each spouse’s earning potential, and the marital standard of living. Infidelity by itself does not automatically impact alimony. That said, if a spouse’s spending on the affair depleted marital resources, a court might consider that financial impact when determining alimony.
How Can I Prove Adultery in Divorce?
In New Jersey, you need to present evidence demonstrating your spouse had both the opportunity and inclination to engage in a romantic or sexual relationship outside the marriage. Direct proof is not necessary; circumstantial evidence often suffices.
Common types of evidence include:
- Texts or emails suggesting a romantic or sexual relationship.
- Phone records showing frequent or late-night calls.
- Hotel receipts or travel records documenting secret meetings or overnight stays.
- Social media activity revealing flirtatious interactions.
- Witness testimony from people aware of the affair.
- Photographs or videos of the spouse with the alleged partner.
- Private investigator reports confirming the affair.
Importantly, when filing for divorce on adultery grounds, New Jersey requires naming the person involved with your spouse (the “co-respondent”) in the complaint.
What Should I Do If My Spouse Is Unfaithful?
If you are coping with the emotional impact of infidelity, the legal process can feel overwhelming. An experienced Bergen County divorce lawyer will explain your options, safeguard your financial interests, and guide you through the process.
Although filing based on adultery might feel justified, it is not always the best legal strategy. Sometimes, a no-fault divorce citing irreconcilable differences can simplify proceedings, reduce conflict, and lower costs. Your lawyer can help assess the strength of your evidence and determine the best path forward.
Contact a Bergen County Divorce Lawyer at Torchin Martel Orr LLC to Learn More
Infidelity can complicate divorce, but understanding its legal implications helps you navigate the process more confidently. If you are considering divorce due to infidelity and have questions, contact the compassionate Bergen County divorce lawyers at Torchin Martel Orr LLC at 201-971-4866 or reach out online to schedule a consultation. Located in Paramus, New Jersey, we serve clients in Bergen County, Morris County, Essex County, Hudson County, and the surrounding towns in northern New Jersey.